Sunday, November 23, 2008

War and Peace Draft 1

To a world that never seems deprived of death and war, peace seems unattainable, a measly idea that idyllics can dream about and cynics discourage by saying that is foolish. That is what peace is to people today--- a foolish dream. In a world were there is always the other side, the enemy. With the primal instinct of always wanting to be right and to be the best, peace can never happen. It can be talked about and dreamed by idyllics and cynics can discourage. People need to realize that peace can happen; it’s not just an idea or a foolish dream. Daily, papers and television news shows reports the death tolls, disabandoned people count, the increasingly high rape numbers of girls and a very young age. Conflicts between multiple countries and threats being made of having nuclear weapons appear routinely. There are never any stories of countries trying to help suffering countries without the use of bullets and bombs. Bullets and bombs are not the answer, and no matter how cliché it sounds, it never is any less true.

By creating such a long tradition of war, peace seems impossible. It is not impossible. People can talk about it all they want, but without any actions taken, does it matter what people say? If a famed painter says he has a new style of painting, does it count if he never divulges what that style is or paints that way? No. Does it count if Pulitzer winning author says that they have a new play, but never writes it? No. Every generation that passes without any actions taken towards creating one peaceful earth is another generation that forgets about peace in the same way that the new painting style that was never painted and the unwritten play would be forgotten. Every generation that passes without any actions towards peace, peace fades farther and farther into the background like old photographs of deceased family members. The idea of peace dies faster and faster, and in its place is war and hate.

In order for war not to claim victory over peace, no one can forget the horrors of wars past; the horrors of wars present and the horrors of wars to come, the brutality of war cannot be forgotten. With every war that occurs, the people on earth, no matter where they stand on the issue, become more and more sterile towards those affected. When it comes to war, everybody is the enemy against peace and nobody is right. Everybody needs to come together and fight against making peace a forgotten ideal.

1 comment:

Ms. Wiesner said...

Very nice first sentence!

This is weak, "That is what .."--re-word. Try something like. To today's society peace is a foolish dream.

This comes out of nowhere and needs some explaining. What is humanity's primal instinct? If it is always wanting to be right, what impact does that have on peace?

You already said this, "idyllics and cynics can discourage."

Fix this sentence, "Daily, papers and television news shows reports the death tolls, disabandoned people count, the increasingly high rape numbers of girls and a very young age."

"By creating such a long tradition of war" WHat is our long tradition of war? How far back are you talking. Be specific.

I like what you're saying about the painting and the unwritten play, but I think you need to flesh out those ideas more.

Very nice,"In order for war not to claim victory over peace, no one can forget the horrors of wars past; the horrors of wars present and the horrors of wars to come"